How to Use Psychedelics for Relational Development

A beginners guide for Psychedelics

Psychedelics cured my depression, or at the very least helped me have the experience that “cured” my depression. Psychedelics, like any other substance, can´t heal anything on their own. The right context is key to having an experience that actually benefits you. After over a hundred trips with psychedelics (Psilocybin / Magic Mushrooms, LSD, DMT, Ayahuasca, Mescaline, 2-CB) and other substances (MDMA, Ketamine, Cocaine, …) I´m really confident in my ability to navigate these experiences and even began to guide others through them.

With this little guide I wanna help you to create safe and beneficial experiences using psychedelics (and other substances). This is not a guide for using these substances for fun and / or recreational purposes. I´m a strong advocate for conscious use of substances.

WARNING: All the information provided here is for educational and harm-reduction purposes only and based on my personal experience and input of therapists using these substances legally! I´m not responsible or liable for any damage that you cause yourself.

What are Psychedelics (about)?

In a nutshell psychedelics expand your consciousness (depending on the dosage and context) until at the neverend (as it always goes deeper) you realize you are the whole universe inhabiting a human perspective. They will show you how limited your worldviews and beliefs are. They dissolve your false identity and invite you to write and live the story to unify the world. They are the antithesis to your ego, though if used in the wrong way can lead to building a super-ego - an ego that´s even more self-deceived but at the same time more confident in owning the absolute truth.

To minimize the possibility for that I want to share my perspective on how to use psychedelics for relational / spiritual development, as they are one of the most powerful tools for this purpose. This statement doesn´t come from arrogance and I know there are a lot of other ways to reach higher-states of consciousness, but in my opinion it´s the most direct and efficient way to heal and dive into the nature of reality. I know people who are on earth and on their spiritual journey decades longer than me, but haven´t even catched a glimpse of the depths psychedelics show you.

INFO: With psychedelics I don´t mean substances like cocaine, MDMA, ketamine, crack, heroine or weed. There´s only a handful of substances that are true and well researched psychedelics and I highly recommend to stick to them.

You may have tried psychedelics. Maybe you had a mushroom-trip in high-school or did some LSD on a festival. Maybe you microdose and think that´s all you need. But how do you know without ever trying a higher dose? Of course you think you won´t need what you don´t know.

“Your first few trips, that´s not even the beginning yet. Those are like the first few words of the introduction.” - Leo Gura

Ways to (ab)use Psychedelics

There´s different ways people use and more often than not abuse psychedelics. Here I want to share four ways you can differentiate to know what you should and shouldn´t do, at least when it comes to me.

1. (Ab)using psychedelics for fun and recreational purposes (parties, festivals, etc.)

   1. This is taking psychedelics for hedonistic reasons, often without knowing what you even take. Often at parties or festivals when someone is passing around something and you do it to have more fun.

   2. This can have benefits (see my own story later), but it´s more likely that you won´t grow in any meaningful way or even block your growth by developing some stupid beliefs.

2. (Ab)using psychedelics for New (C)age Spirituality

   1. This is “spiritual” people with strong beliefs about reality / god / universe using these substances to double-down on them and become even more dogmatic. The experience reinforces all your existing models of reality creating a super-ego.

3. Using psychedelics for therapy

   1. This is using psychedelics in therapeutic setting with a therapist to guide you through the experience to help you heal past-trauma or addictions. There´s a lot of studies done on this already and it works wonders in many cases.

   2. One of the downsides is that it puts these substances into the box of therapy and capitalism and can limit the potential of these substances for spiritual-growth.

4. Using psychedelic for personal / relational development

   1. This is using psychedelics to pursue enlightenment, do personal / relational development work, gain insights into any area in your life or to dissolve the things that stand in the way of you serving the world with your whole being. Used in the right way it it can help you with most if not any ailment or problem you can have.

My Psychedelic Journey Begins

The first time I took something psychedelics was in 2018 at the O.Z.O.R.A. - a Psychedelic Tribal Gathering in Hungary. At that time I´ve been depressed for years, suicidal-thoughts were a daily occurrence and I just couldn´t find a reason to want to live again. While knowing that I won´t follow these thoughts, I didn´t really believe in healing anymore. After almost ten years it´s easy to lose hope.

Young and dumb we did what most people do on this type of event: take drugs and more drugs, dance and party. After taking MDMA on the second day I didn´t feel like going to any workshop anymore. The pleasure made my eyes roll back and I fell in love with everyone around. The spirit of Ozora began to act through me. Freedom everywhere. Just people smiling, laughing, dancing. Simply living and becoming one moment together.

Of course a good chunk of them where on drugs. It was so surreal that this is possible. Hungary having pretty strict laws against drugs and people openly doing them at the same time. A small little wonderland in Hungary but at the same time not Hungary anymore.

After this second experience with MDMA (which I don´t count as a psychedelic) we (minus the girls of our group, as they were too afraid) went on to take LSD on the fourth day. And holy Alice in Wonderland it flipped my complete world upside down. Within an hour of taking it I began to taste the music and feel the colours. At the same time the the world around me began to morph and twist in fractal patterns of pure perfection.

I felt like a child again, filled with infinite curiosity and wonder. We went on to explore the whole area. Everything and everyone was so beautiful. I rememer walking through a corn-labyrinth, laughing almost constantly. Then we split up and I lay on the grass next to the main floor - the music almost making me soulgasm.

I looked up at the dancing clouds and it started to rain. I didn´t care. If I die know it was all worth it I thought. I closed my eyes and everything suddenly began to move in slow motion. Just feeling, no thoughts. The raindrops rolling down my skin made me tear up. I could see them kissing me even though my eyes were closed.

So much wonder and love and I was hiding from it? Why? This is life and I was locking myself out of it. Why am I depressed again? It just didn´t make sense anymore. With that the whole idea of having a “firm identity” and “my depression” flew out the window.

This abridged little story illustrates the power of psychedelics. The state that I´ve been so addicted to for so long, that it didn´t seem like an addiction anymore, dissolved within a single trip of 100µg of LSD.

General rules for the safe use of psychedelic substances

While I don´t believe psychedelics can harm you directly they can lead to you harming yourself. To be safe you want to have a methodical approach when doing them. Here are some rules that you should always follow as a beginner.

#1 Don´t just take a substance you know nothing about

• Don´t just take a substance someone offers you. Research the substance you wanna take before trying it out. You can find testimonials and guides for almost any substance online. Don´t take “research-chemicals” - these are compounds that have been newly developed and not widely tested and could be dangerous - especially as a beginner. Stick to the well-known substances.

#2 Test your substance or use a reputable source & use a scale

• Ever read some crazy stories about how substance use went wrong or someone dying from them? Most of these happen with tainted substances. So buy your substance from a trustworthy source. This can be hard in some countries. So if you aren´t able to find a trustworthy source buy at least two different test-kits and test your substance for purity and if it´s really what you wanna take. You wanna take the most pure stuff you can get your hands on. Don´t be cheap. Also buy yourself a high-quality scale to measure the substance exactly.

#3 Don´t do it alone

• You are diving into reality in a way that doesn´t make sense to your logical mind. This can feel like you are loosing it. For some it brings up an inner drive to harm or even kill oneself. Your body could start to release trauma in physical movement. To stay save have someone you trust and who can fully hold you with you. Being witnessed and accepted in the expression of your pain is a necessary part in healing relational trauma.

#4 Do it in a safe, clean and cozy space

• If you don´t have on create yourself a space you feel home in. Before tripping clean it thoroughly. You don´t want to see dust, dirt and other soilings highlighted on psychedelics. Also have a place to lie down and cozy in and a bucket ready in case you have to puke.

• Don´t do this if your life is super chaotic right now, have it put together. If you just broke up with someone, lost your job or had someone die it may be better to wait until you are in a better state.

#5 Take it during the day and have at least one day off afterwards

• These experiences can last a long time - up to 6-12 hours. The darkness of the night can trigger some and make the experience even harder so start early, so you don´t go to sleep way to late. Also have the next day off to integrate the experience. You don´t wanna go back to your day-to-day life after such an experience. It´s actually the integration of the insights that makes you embody the changes that.

#6 Don´t eat anything before you take it & prepare some light food

• Don´t eat anything before (at least 3 hours) you take your substance or at the beginning of your experience. This can lower the quality and depth of your experience, though you shouldn´t be completely starved as this can distract you from your experience. You might purge in some way and the less you have in your stomach the better. At the end of the trip it can be super nice to have some fresh fruits or a fruit salad ready. Eating a little bit can help you with grounding the experience in your body.

#7 Education & Research

• Psychological models about the way your mind works and some knowledge about relationships will help you navigate the experience. Also inform yourself on the experience of ego-death and the substance you want to take (side-effects, complications dosage and so on). You can also read studies on psychedelics. There´s YouTubers doing videos on them.

#8 Set a serious intention

• If you are doing this for your personal and relational growth set this as an intention. This is not about controlling the trip, simply to guide your own psyche towards this outcome and get the insights that you need.

#9 Fast your mind of entertainment and news

• It´s a good idea to fast your mind from low-conscious entertainment before you do these substances. Watching news, a movie about war, or binge-watching some series will fill your mind with a lot of crap that will limit the growth you might get out of the experience.

Relationships and REALationships

In the same way psychedelics dissolve the ego of the separate individual they dissolve relational context that isn´t serving the whole, in other words your highest self. Most relationships suffer from the accumulation of unexpressed emotional energy (in the individual) and therefore slowly decay over time until they break down.

We are actually always in relationship with everyone around us. The question is only which of the relationships around us we choose to realize and turn into a REALationship - a relationship which is a vehicle for our personal, spiritual and relational growth - to become who we are meant to be.

A relationSHIP is simple. It´s sailing on known oceans in the waters of our own egos to let us stay the way we are. It´s falling in love with an idea of one another, not the actual essence. Once a person realizes that the way the ship is sailing isn´t in alignment with what they perceive to be their own unique path they jump off the ship. The other usually follows soon after, as sailing on a relationship alone comes with the pain of having a tear in ones heart.

A REALationSHIP on the other hand is far more complex. It´s about consciously building a ship together that can sail the unknown waters of falling in love over and over again - with each new incarnation of our beloved. It´s a promise to honor each others unique path and autopoetic nature, while simultaneously sailing the ship through the currents and storms of our dissolving egos. The ship becomes an entity of pure love as real as you and me. It´s giving up the illusion of security to find the safety of unconditional love in the uncertainty of the unknown. Choices are made as a crew, even the decision to jump the ship, if things don´t work out. I love you. I love we. We love you. We love I.

Every relationship is potentially a realationship - it´s all about knowing how to communicate properly. Some of my deepest conversation were with complete strangers I just met. It´s all about the way you relate and speak. Are you privatizing your love or open your heart to release the infinite love that you are?

“He who truly loves does not speak to tell the truth, but to declare his love explicitly in all truth. The word in the throat of the lover is transformed because his heart beats for the listener.” - Eugen Rosenstock-Huessy

Psychedelics for Relational Development

The approach I share here won´t lead to a guaranteed ego-death / wego-rebirth experience. This approach is for beginners and if you follow the steps they will minimize the potential for harm to almost zero.

#1 Trip-Sit each other the first time with no judgment

• If this is the first time for you to do psychedelics I highly recommend to trip-sit each other for your first time. This means you both take it separately while the other one stays sober and holds the space for your experience. You might even use a blindfold, lie down and just witness what happens to you. The witness is just there to witness and care for you for the first time. Both of you make a commitment to not judge whatever might come up, even if that´s a judgment.

#2 Don´t start with microdosing but slowly increase the dosage

• A microdose won´t really give you a full glimpse into a psychedelic. Don´t start there or with taking a break-through dosage (“god-realization”). Start small and slowly work yourself up together until you reach a break-through.

#3 Slow down, breath and drop into your body

• After taking the substance it will take a while to take effect. Use that time to get more into the moment. Slow down and breath together. Drop into your body. You can even do a crowdsourced meditation and share what you feel with each other. You can use the prompt: “being here with you I notice a feeling / a thought / an observation.” Truth is a wonderful gateway to drop into a shared immortal moment.

#4 Trust, own and express your experience

• There´s never anything wrong with what you feel, even things like disgust or anger for the other. All of us were traumatized in relationship and psychedelics in connection will help you to notice the ways you are. You transform these emotions by accepting and expressing them in relationship. Expressing an emotional charge might lead to the other one feeling one too. Both of you need to do this. It´s like playing ping-pong with your aliveness until both of you are fully alive at the same time in the same space.

• Owning your experience means not making the other one the source of your experience, but realizing that everything that comes up comes out of the source within you. You are simply there to help each other excavate your most authentic self. Instead of saying “you make me angry”, you say “I notice anger coming up (after you…)”.

#5 Don´t get lost in the visuals of the experience

• When you begin to do psychedelics you might see a lot of visuals. Don´t get lost in them. Try to really feel into the experience and not distract yourself. Your mind will want to run from feeling it and it´s a probably the most common way to run from what´s going on inside. Whatever you see is a reflection of your subconscious mind, don´t self-deceive yourself with them.

I hope I didn´t forget anything. Kind of feels unfinished, if I remember something I will edit this post and add it. Feel free to comment if you have anything important you would like to see written down here.

Thanks for Reading

Marco

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