How Toxic People Heal You
The meme of toxic relationships and people is fast spreading poison for our soul.
The very idea that there are is keeping us from reaching deeper levels of relational development.
In truth, there are neither toxic relationships nor people.
My heart already begins to bleed just beginning to write about this. Can people really not feel how this is damaging to us? That with every person we label as toxic we are actually making fear reality.
It makes me sad and angry, as I´ve been on both sides of the fence. I was and still am called toxic and I also used to call people and / or relationships toxic.
In this article I´m going to explain to you:
what people mean with “toxic people / relationships”
how your ego is using this idea to refuse love
how to get out of this thinking
Have you ever ended a relationship and been happy about it? Has your conclusion after reflecting on it simply been “at least now I know what I don´t want”? Yes? Then this article is for you.
The Truth About Toxic People
So what are toxic people or toxic relationships? In general when people talk about a relationship or someone being toxic they mean that this someone or relationship is damaging to them.
Sometimes the term toxic is also used for a relationship that is emotionally co-dependant. Though emotional co-dependance is the base for every relationship as a human being, as we are one being. Easy to see when looking at a baby, as the co-dependancy with the parents is apparent. So if we would take this aspect in, every relationship would suddenly become toxic.
But let´s focus on the first aspect. Toxic relationships / people are all about the fact that you don´t feel good in and / or after the relationship.
A first question to dive into here would be: do you believe there were situations / experiences in your life that were mistakes / and damaged you?
Well to make it short, mistakes don´t exist in reality. They only exist in interpretations of reality and the systems (like mathematics or our ego) we create.
The truth is you never damage / hurt your self. And you especially never damage and hurt someone else.
This is the point where most people opt-out of the conversation.
They begin arguing that there are a thousand examples that proof the opposite. Not realising that all that the examples proof is the opposite based on a specific perspective. The perspective is always one and the same: “I am the / a victim and there is a culprit”. From this perspective there will always be toxic people, damage, and things that shouldn´t have happened.
These people see a mistake in life. Even if they say “it was good that it happened, I now know what I want and don´t want”, the perspective is still the same.
If you don´t want something regarding behaviour or situations, you still have the believe that you are the victim in those situations and behaviours. If you would be fully in your power you could change that behaviour.
Then after creating a toxic person you believe you are growing based on this believe of separation. You made yourself a victim. But this is not real growing, it´s simply avoidance. Avoidance of real life and real responsibility.
As you can see there are no toxic people and toxic relationships. The only thing there is is humans who show you specific topics that you still carry with you.
Who show you that you can´t be honest with yourself.
That you reject life again and again, because you didn´t yet realise what life is.
And that you have a perspective that keeps you locked inside of a cage and that you can´t see beyond it.
You are basically unconscious. Not being conscious is the reason this perspective is so prevalent.
Doing good and doing Go(o)d
Every single human, without exception, always does what they consider to be right and best for themselves. Everything else doesn´t exist.
Even so called “altruistic” people are in this category. Just because they don´t get anything back one way, it doesn´t mean they don´t get anything back at all.
Giving and receiving become one when you think it through.
Most if not all people who are obsessed with helping others do it to survive their own identity. By helping someone else they strengthen their own self-belief: “I am the one who is helping others.” There is still this idea of “bad” things happening that shouldn´t happen. No trust in the universe.
You can verify this on yourself if you are honest, or anyone else with any type of behaviour. This is true for everyone who is still living a “role”. A “false” life. A life that was given to you by others. A life in the matrix. A life you feel unable to wake up from.
Our ego is using the idea of ‘good’ and ‘evil’ / ‘bad’ / ‘toxic"‘ or any other negative term to cut consciousness in two. We are not fully ‘we’ in those states. We took away someones truth as a multi-dimensional being by using a term to diminish their being.
The only way to actually do real good is by realising the inherent perfect ‘god’ and ‘godess’ in everyone. It´s a way of understanding god in god. In the process go(o)d becomes a real thing. We become one with creation and all of life and act from the momentum of this fundamental oneness.
We begin to fully live from our power as creators of reality. No eye to eye from heart to heart.
Using Toxic People to Heal
If you understand that there are no toxic people you can use that as your minds way of showing you how to grow.
We are basically gods in god having an intervention with ourselves. Every ‘toxic’ person is just showing you a way to integrate a new aspect of your self.
What does the part represent? You don´t like it? Well it´s inside of you. It´s (p)art of the full cosmic human experience. God painting itself into existence.
We have to love all of us first. That´s the only way to change anything meaningful.
Nothing is truly damaging you. There are only experiences simply bleeding away your layer of lies - that hurts. Your ego is disappointed by reality. Things being the way they are.
But your true self can never be hurt of diminished. You are perfection in every moment of life - love (in one color or another) for all. Live from that knowledge and let our parts that don´t talk talk.
Thanks for reading.
Marco :)