The Way We Live is Raping You

The Breeding Ground of Resentment

Have you heard of Dominique Pélicot? A 71 year old man who´s currently all over the news and social media for one of the most horrendous crimes a human being can do.
I haven´t heard of him before reading “No Taboo is Safe” by Mary Harrington last week and had to gulp and reread following passage twice before fully letting it sink in.

“[...] he has admitted repeatedly drugging his wife of 50 years, Gisèle Pélicot, while men he recruited via a porn website raped her. As others abused his unconscious wife, according to allegations, Pélicot would watch and film.”

First I thought I´m numb and I don´t feel anything about it, but then I noticed that there´s an ocean of anger inside of me that I´m simply unable to embody (yet). I fear what might happen if I do. I´ve been angry and it always ended with me being abandoned by someone I love - even when trying to fully own it. So for now let´s just slowly let it sink into these words.

Rape: The Way We Live

There´s a simple reason why I began with this case. Horrendous as it is it makes an almost perfect metaphor for our current world situation. How? The case is the material manifestation of the spiritual state of our messed up society.

1. Dominique Pélicot is the representation of our current system - the matrix that we´ve built - raping our soul.

2. His wife represents the divine feminine. She who´s sleeping in most women due to all the “drugs” we´ve created to run and hide from our feelings. She who´s being constantly spiritually raped, by unawakened and unconscious men and the systems we´ve built.

3. The other men represent all the men simply playing into our current system and story, continuing with the rape of our soul and the divine feminine as if nothings wrong with what´s going on.

4. And we - most men (and women) - are the bystanders, living in hypocrisy because we are too afraid to speak up and embody radical change. Of course some of us do. Yet most of us are simply sleepwalking through life. Chasing our own egoistic agendas of money, status, power. A life detached from the great spirit within, who still believes and acts out of hope for a radical shift in consciousness.

In a nutshell our society / current matrix is an amusement park for the ego. If you are living for “success” in (only) that system you are a hypocrite to your own soul and mission on this planet. You may get external validation from people, but that doesn´t change the fact that you are propagating the lie (that everything is as it should be) that we keep living.

“Where a man runs the risk of being branded a mangy sheep by the community, good society, colleagues, hypocrisy develops. Hypocrisy is the worst emptying of reality that can occur. The hypocrite does not have enough love for community renewal in his body to overcome social shame.” - Eugen Rosenstock-Huess

In order for things to change we need to love change more than the status-quo (which is just another way of saying “death of god”). This is harder for women for one simple reason. Imagine being born physically weaker then half the people around you in a society of sociopaths. Even though this begins to change, historically women always needed to be liked by men in order to survive. That´s why their locus of focus seems to be more on the outside and how they are perceived by others.

Sadly most of us buy into our bullshit society (money, status, power) because it´s possible to fulfil almost all egoistic wishes with money. While there´s a strong force trying to coerce us into it, but that´s no excuse for giving in. To stay with our soul we we have to stay strong and continue history to allow her story to emerge.

Traps for the Ego

Men (and women) playing into this matrix will begin to create traps and systems to exploit our own bio- and psychology. They develop products and services that don´t benefit anyone (in the grand scheme of things) and use marketing to artificially create a need or want for them. Here´s some of the main industries raping our soul.

1. The entertainment and news industry. Not much to say here, just turn on your TV or some streaming platform and see for yourself.

2. The (fast-)food industry. This includes most restaurants, supermarkets and discounters. Most of the crap you can buy is pure poison and the only reason you want it, it is perfectly designed to appeal to your lower self.

3. The medicine and pharmaceutical industry. It´s all designed to keep you sick and due to it being embedded into a system that needs to grow it is bound to exaggerate. This leads to more sickness, unnecessary therapy and more and more useless preventive checkups to make the growth possible.¹

4. The university and education industry. You study to get into the most prestigious schools and universities to get the best degree possible. This destroys the value of self-taught knowledge and claims a monopoly over the social imagination.²

5. The beauty industry. They literally create poison to put on your skin and sell you violence against your own body as something desirable. It all appeals to your vanity by making you believe you are more with and less without.

6. Social Media. The way most of those platforms are designed is to keep you hooked. And the content? Almost exclusively vanity-based.³

7. Video Games. How about instead of becoming an ingame hero you live up to love and become a hero for real?

It´s easy to fall asleep to this. Some people literally live their “life” within spaces these industries created. There are celebrities (another industry appealing to your lower self) who are literally nothing more than walking marketing.

On top of that we have this spiritual dogma that non-judgement is something desirable. Completely ignoring the fact that judgement - from universal love - is an important function of your mind for your own and societies growth. The same way our society rapes mother earth it rapes the divine feminine in all of us.

The Consequences

A few weeks ago I read an article by Celeste Davis talking about the difference between men who like and man who don´t like women and how women can tell the difference. What stuck with me was the over-simplifying answer as the reason behind that. Boys are pressured from a young age to conform to masculine norms. This includes being taught that being “girly” or doing and wearing “girly things” is undesirable and being reprimanded for that. (Have you been? Would love to read about it in the comments.) This then magically leads to men hating women.

To safe me some work another author already pointed out the only real reason why a man becomes resentful against women. We don´t just dislike the other sex because of indirect experience. We develop resentment against the other sex because of experiences we had with them that we perceived as “bad” or “harmful” to us.

“The reason so few men like women is because women treat most men very badly. […] Women customarily treat the vast majority of the men they encounter with disrespect, disdain, and contempt.”

Of course women don´t just do this out of spite. It´s a biological reaction for a women encountering an abusive man - especially as a child. The solution for many is the belief that all men are dangerous. This belief leads to her natural state being to defend herself against all men. This is not the end though. According to Alison A. Armstrong, in “The Queens Code” it get´s even worse, she writes:

“[…] most women subscribe to the idea that ‘the best defense is a good offense’. With the belief that she must defend herself against all men, she actually attacks them. […] Since men are Single Focused, if they have to defend themselves, they cannot simultaneously defend the women that they would have otherwise gladly protected.”

Men are naturally wired to regard women with love and trust. The book calls the process that rewires men to resent (or even hate) women “frog farming” - the opposite of the famous fable where a frog turns into a prince. Princes become frogs. This happens through (energetic) castration. It´s the act of diminishing men and the attitude that it´s justified. To castrate a man means to emasculate him, to deprive him of virility, vitality, strength, effectiveness and much more.

We are interconnected beings and at war with each other. But we are not evil just stupid and we can fix it. And we should because we can´t live up to our highest version separated. The way we behave and interact affects us. Here are some of the worst ways I see women emasculate men:

• The Icequeen-treatment - pretending someone isn´t there

• Use men as a tool for your Social Media life

• Assuming insincerity from the get-go

• Ignoring all ideas and suggestions

• Interrupting their story-telling

• Withholding appreciation and admiration

• Being more impressed by someone else in their presence

• …

As for short-term consequences of emasculation. After my last break up my ex ignored all my requests for conflict-resolution. The first thing I felt was a sudden loss of power. This transformed into disbelief. How can you treat me like this? This transformed into rage which if I would have let it move me would have gotten physical.

As for long-term consequences. Growing up in a world where women are constantly on edge against men a man will:

• compete with and not cherish women

• seek distance from instead of intimacy with

• Mistrust women and relate to them with suspicion.

• treat women with disdain and not respect them.

In a nutshell men will relate to women from fear and not love. We all lose on this one.

“[…] the war on masculinity is one of the very essential elements of the current agenda. Because, when you have emasculated, and I would go so far as to say, energetically castrated men you have a very vulnerable population. And when there aren´t men at the helm to guide, direct and protect. Then the capture of that population is secured.” - Kelly Brogan

Men can be violent against women only when they have been severely traumatized. Same the other way around. This is a matter of fact. We need to separate the conscious actions of women and men from the unconscious actions of trauma. You can feel angry about a man abusing his wife without projecting said behaviour onto all man. You can be angry at a women ignoring you without projecting said behaviour onto all women.

We are the So(u)lution

After my last romantic relationship ended I´ve been flabbergasted be the amount of bullshit in people - including me. First I´ve been disillusioned by my ex. I learned that she was only in love with some idea of someone, not me, not love. Apparently having ones heart broken is an instant gateway into divine love. Thanks for that. The soul shines through the cracks when we embrace our broken nature - which makes us unique.

Last year I told my best friend for seven years how disgusted I felt about her behaviour. Like starting a relationship with a guy who raped her and after that ended with some other guy who played video-games all the time. This ended our relationship and she went on to post it on Instagram to get some validation. Reading her post made me sad. Apparently she was trying to “fix me” all the time we´ve been friends. Hello? I don´t need fixing. I like the way I am even when I´m sad. Thanks for showing me what friendship is not about.

What shocked me was that this was also the first time I felt a real connection with her. She couldn´t relate to me before because I haven´t been real with her. Haven´t told her how I feel in a way she could feel it. Should have told her sooner. She hates me now but at least it´s all real. In my world this would have been a great start to turn our relationship into a realationship. In hers it´s a reason to ghost someone. Well maybe she will come around. A man can dream and time will tell.

Then a week ago my best friend - after talking to my brother on phone - told me that I can´t just go and visit my brother and his wife, who moved away in August. Apparently I trigger “fear of death” in her. Her, who´s been one of my best friends just a few years ago. Like hey “that´s my job”? I´m light and shine on your trauma so you can see, feel and heal.

I don´t resent them, but I´m really annoyed by all this. I feel this really strong urge to resolve these conflicts with them, but none of them seems to want to resolve these conflicts with me. Makes me want to turn my feelings off.

Back to the topic. The only way to heal our relational trauma is by doing the work in relationship and being honest about the way we make each other feel. We need to trust each other to blossom in love. Honestly it´s all a joke by now. Unless we figure out a way to be in relationship with each other in a way that doesn´t break - and therefore us and love - there´s no way to change this fucked-up world in any meaningful way.

“When as a man you don´t have other men at your back you can not man properly. And as a women when you do not have, not one man but men at your back, you can not be a women.” - Kelly Brogan

We are all a bunch of traumatised kiddos figuring this shit out on the get go. But to be honest I´m sick of it. Sick of people using their trauma as the reason why they did stupid shit. Sick of the fear in the eyes of people reflecting my own. There is right and wrong. We are perfectly capable divine individuals to see just that. Choose a side or be a pawn.

There are things you can do and should do. Like transforming our old stupid patterns of looking and running away into embracing the conflicts that we have. This is not comfortable, but hey, what else is there to do? Travel around and post pics on Instagram? Pick-up some girls to have some meaningless one-night stands? Party and do drugs until we realize short-term fun isn´t happiness?

No thanks. It´s back to love or die trying. Always. It´s that easy. We can learn to communicate as a dance. We can learn to have conflict in peace. We can learn to love each other - even in hatred. ART International teached a bunch of prison inmates - gangmembers who were about to kill each other - how to relate and talk it through. If people ready to stab each other can talk we can too.

Put your true expression first. Relationship second. The only thing that can happen is your life becoming more real. It may seem like you will lose people in the process, but in truth relationship is always there. All that´s changing is the way they manifest.

“Be Yourself, the Universe Will Show You the Way” - Ram Dass

Thanks for reading my lovely readers.

In love Marco.

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1. Ivan Illich - Limits to Medicine: Medical Nemesis The Expropriation of Health

2. Ivan Illich - Deschooling Society

3. Technology is Not Values Neutral: Ending the Reign of Nihilistic Design