I really enjoyed reading this Marco, I agree with so much of what you've said.
I love the concept of a "wego," as well as your point that "You can believe you are fully enlightened, yet if you can´t bring someone else with you into that space it´s not real. It´s just you detaching from the collective."
It's an example I think of social myths we tell ourselves, and a denial of the organic nature of our social ecosystems - I've seen this a lot (and I think most people have) in the workplace where we see ourselves in terms of individual roles detached from the collective team (whatever that looks like).
I think the more people you label as toxic, the more you diminish yourself as they all represent a part of you, you don’t want to face.
Facing them will obviously trigger something in you, but if you manage to do that in a healthy way that’s one of the best ways to grow as a human being as you will learn to be more of your self in relationship.
I highlighted this passage: “Even when it comes to dating and relationships the willingness to throw away another being for my own happiness and growth is at the heart of many of today’s advice.” Thisssss
And then you spoke about coregulation. And then the idea of “wego” and our social roles.
Yes, yes yes!!
Having formatted myself to the personal development pop culture, I find myself now having to walk back from “I” to “we”. But I’m not afraid as I know by experience the only thing we need to do something is to decide to do it. So I’m walking back. I’m having the tough conversations when I used to run away after dropping some dramatic sentence like “he’s a narcissist!”
Once we realize that the whole personal development movement is tweaked towards individualism, we can then gear back into community and togetherness. Because as you said, we were born for relating.
Thank you for this piece, much needed in this world.
I really enjoyed reading this Marco, I agree with so much of what you've said.
I love the concept of a "wego," as well as your point that "You can believe you are fully enlightened, yet if you can´t bring someone else with you into that space it´s not real. It´s just you detaching from the collective."
It's an example I think of social myths we tell ourselves, and a denial of the organic nature of our social ecosystems - I've seen this a lot (and I think most people have) in the workplace where we see ourselves in terms of individual roles detached from the collective team (whatever that looks like).
Thank you for the insights!
Hey Marco, that was a really good read.
You're so right as well, there can be no personal development without relational development.
This part made me think:
'The truth is the people or relationships you label toxic are actually the best way for you to grow and heal if you decide to embrace them'.
I had never thought about relationships like this!
Thanks for the kind words.
I think the more people you label as toxic, the more you diminish yourself as they all represent a part of you, you don’t want to face.
Facing them will obviously trigger something in you, but if you manage to do that in a healthy way that’s one of the best ways to grow as a human being as you will learn to be more of your self in relationship.
Oh, Marco. I was nodding all the way.
I highlighted this passage: “Even when it comes to dating and relationships the willingness to throw away another being for my own happiness and growth is at the heart of many of today’s advice.” Thisssss
And then you spoke about coregulation. And then the idea of “wego” and our social roles.
Yes, yes yes!!
Having formatted myself to the personal development pop culture, I find myself now having to walk back from “I” to “we”. But I’m not afraid as I know by experience the only thing we need to do something is to decide to do it. So I’m walking back. I’m having the tough conversations when I used to run away after dropping some dramatic sentence like “he’s a narcissist!”
Once we realize that the whole personal development movement is tweaked towards individualism, we can then gear back into community and togetherness. Because as you said, we were born for relating.
Thank you for this piece, much needed in this world.
Awesome article! Thanks for bringing in these words 🌱🌱🌱